- Journal -
i started this page as a way to write down my thoughts and feelings whenever i feel sad to stop me from doing... unsavoury things as an alternative. the stuff i write in here won't be pretty, so id advise you to look away if youre sensitive. there wont be images.
im fine, dont worry about me.
at least, i hope.
i dont wanna be here anymore
im fine, dont worry about me.
at least, i hope.
i dont wanna be here anymore
31 - 03 - 2026
i feel hopeless, sometimes. like im floating through my days, my weeks, my years, my life. i feel useless. do i have a purpose?
its an old, long thought about question, i know. but still, i cant help but think: do i really have a place in this world if i dont have an incentive to be here? im supposed to be studying for exams, thinking about university, or apprenticeships or whatever shit is going on, and im not doing that. i dont have a sense of urgency, a little voice in my head screaming and crying that im a worthless lazy loser if i dont get three As and ill never amount to anything, i dont have that.
and its driving me insane. i dont have an urge to study, im sitting on my ass working on this stupid fucking website. am i going to get anything out of doing this? what was the fucking point of starting this? boredom? why dont i study if im bored?
im scared for my exams, and yet i cant wait for them to be over. but once they are over, what am i going to do?
- Piko
i dont respond to emotional things properly, is something ive learned about myself since last year. i care, but apparently, i dont show it.
how do i show that i care? i dont do well with these things, and no matter how hard i try, theres always a phone call i could have made, or a text i could have sent, or a question i could have asked. should these things come naturally to me, or is everyone around me putting in an insane effort?
am i a heartless monster, or someone who cant make themself care enough to show it? i dont know which is worse.
- Piko
i feel hopeless, sometimes. like im floating through my days, my weeks, my years, my life. i feel useless. do i have a purpose?
its an old, long thought about question, i know. but still, i cant help but think: do i really have a place in this world if i dont have an incentive to be here? im supposed to be studying for exams, thinking about university, or apprenticeships or whatever shit is going on, and im not doing that. i dont have a sense of urgency, a little voice in my head screaming and crying that im a worthless lazy loser if i dont get three As and ill never amount to anything, i dont have that.
and its driving me insane. i dont have an urge to study, im sitting on my ass working on this stupid fucking website. am i going to get anything out of doing this? what was the fucking point of starting this? boredom? why dont i study if im bored?
im scared for my exams, and yet i cant wait for them to be over. but once they are over, what am i going to do?
- Piko
i dont respond to emotional things properly, is something ive learned about myself since last year. i care, but apparently, i dont show it.
how do i show that i care? i dont do well with these things, and no matter how hard i try, theres always a phone call i could have made, or a text i could have sent, or a question i could have asked. should these things come naturally to me, or is everyone around me putting in an insane effort?
am i a heartless monster, or someone who cant make themself care enough to show it? i dont know which is worse.
- Piko
1 - 4 - 2026
i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself
im breaking, i think
i dont know my relatives i dont know my friends im just a stupid heartless fuck who deserves to die painfully and slowly for selfishly taking and taking and taking and never giving back. i never ask when i need to, so i must not care, right? i dont study, i dont do extracurriculars, i dont watch or read or make anything productive, im just a leech stealing food money and clothes from someone who actually needs them, someone who deserves them, someone who could maybe have lived a better life than whatever the fuck im doing right now.
- Piko
ive just realised i put this up on april fools, actually made me laugh. feeling a bit better surprisingly.
- Piko
i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself i want to kill myself
im breaking, i think
i dont know my relatives i dont know my friends im just a stupid heartless fuck who deserves to die painfully and slowly for selfishly taking and taking and taking and never giving back. i never ask when i need to, so i must not care, right? i dont study, i dont do extracurriculars, i dont watch or read or make anything productive, im just a leech stealing food money and clothes from someone who actually needs them, someone who deserves them, someone who could maybe have lived a better life than whatever the fuck im doing right now.
- Piko
ive just realised i put this up on april fools, actually made me laugh. feeling a bit better surprisingly.
- Piko
02 - 04 - 2026
ive never felt less like doing... anything before. its so cold here, i want to just fall asleep and never wake up. ive always been a bit of a scaredy-cat when it comes to anything remotely dangerous or that could end in injury: im terrified of riding a bike, i get scared going on buses and planes, ive never gone near a rollercoaster before, hell my legs feel shaky when i use the step to reach the taller cupboards in my kitchen, and that things like half of my shin tall.
i could never kill myself. im too scared of being hurt.
its not death i fear, its just the thought that if it fails ill be in so much pain, or even i need to feel pain in order to do it. its cowardly, isnt it? wanting to kill myself, but not wanting it to hurt. a bit of a juxtaposition. ive thought about it before, and i just know ill never be able to do it. i guess thats one thing thats good.
- Piko
ive never felt less like doing... anything before. its so cold here, i want to just fall asleep and never wake up. ive always been a bit of a scaredy-cat when it comes to anything remotely dangerous or that could end in injury: im terrified of riding a bike, i get scared going on buses and planes, ive never gone near a rollercoaster before, hell my legs feel shaky when i use the step to reach the taller cupboards in my kitchen, and that things like half of my shin tall.
i could never kill myself. im too scared of being hurt.
its not death i fear, its just the thought that if it fails ill be in so much pain, or even i need to feel pain in order to do it. its cowardly, isnt it? wanting to kill myself, but not wanting it to hurt. a bit of a juxtaposition. ive thought about it before, and i just know ill never be able to do it. i guess thats one thing thats good.
- Piko
03 - 04 - 2026
i went swimming today. it was fun.
i saw a little kid and her dad playing in the water. i think i did like 3 laps before i accidentally went a bit too close to them and the girls leg came smashing onto my head. she apologised a lot and her dad laughed and apologised too. it was really sweet.
i later got out of the pool, and i turned to see her give her dad a bear hug, and she almost knocked him backwards. he was laughing, and she was also laughing. i felt a bit jealous.
is it stupid to want to be held like that at 17 years of age? i dont think i remember the last time my dad treated me like i was a child. i see in movies and shows when the "grumpy teen" is embarassed by the parent's affection, but i dont think ive ever felt like that. if anything its the opposite, i desperately want their affection, the same affection they stopped giving to me at some point between 11-15 years.
i dont care if im too grown up for it, i just want to feel loved.
- Piko
i went swimming today. it was fun.
i saw a little kid and her dad playing in the water. i think i did like 3 laps before i accidentally went a bit too close to them and the girls leg came smashing onto my head. she apologised a lot and her dad laughed and apologised too. it was really sweet.
i later got out of the pool, and i turned to see her give her dad a bear hug, and she almost knocked him backwards. he was laughing, and she was also laughing. i felt a bit jealous.
is it stupid to want to be held like that at 17 years of age? i dont think i remember the last time my dad treated me like i was a child. i see in movies and shows when the "grumpy teen" is embarassed by the parent's affection, but i dont think ive ever felt like that. if anything its the opposite, i desperately want their affection, the same affection they stopped giving to me at some point between 11-15 years.
i dont care if im too grown up for it, i just want to feel loved.
- Piko
05 - 04 - 2026
my memories are fading, im starting to forget. they're turning into that dream-memory hybrid, where you know what's happened but you just can't be too sure if it was real or not, you know the events but you can't string them together in a way that makes sense. this is ridiculous. i didn't come all this way, holding these memories, just for me to lose them.
maybe its better if i forget. not maybe, it would be better if i forgot. but i dont want to. i know exactly what he did to me, and if i never pursue consequences for it, then the next best thing would be to never forget, to never let him forget. i havent spent 4 years feeling that dreadful knot in my stomach when i'm around him, just for me to forget what started this whole damn thing in the first place.
- Piko
my memories are fading, im starting to forget. they're turning into that dream-memory hybrid, where you know what's happened but you just can't be too sure if it was real or not, you know the events but you can't string them together in a way that makes sense. this is ridiculous. i didn't come all this way, holding these memories, just for me to lose them.
maybe its better if i forget. not maybe, it would be better if i forgot. but i dont want to. i know exactly what he did to me, and if i never pursue consequences for it, then the next best thing would be to never forget, to never let him forget. i havent spent 4 years feeling that dreadful knot in my stomach when i'm around him, just for me to forget what started this whole damn thing in the first place.
- Piko
08 - 04 - 2026
CW: graphic description of injury
when i was younger, i used to ask a lot of questions. it annoyed my parents immensely, especially when they couldnt answer my questions too. theres some kind of caution that you need with asking questions too, something about being sensitive to the other person? i dont know, i didnt get it when i asked.
i remember i was in the passenger seat with my dad, and i was learning about the ethics of ai in computer science fields or something like that, and i asked him that question that they used with ai drivers: if there was someone on the road would you swerve to miss them, risking the passenger's life but not the person on the road's, or would you crash into them, risking their life but not your passenger's. he told me to shut up essentially. maybe he was worried i would jinx him or something, i still dont get it.
i always had questions relating to death. i remember i asked my dad (he was always the one i asked, i dont know why, maybe my mum never gave me good answers) what he thought about euthanasia, and he said he had no right to answer that question because he had never had to make the decision himself. i wonder if he would be willing to answer it now. id probably be shouted at for asking.
occasionally ill have thoughts, morbid thoughts, about the what ifs of a situation: what if a serial killer was living in our attic and came down in the night and slit my throat, what if one of my parents had a heart attack and no one was around to call for medical attention, what if i get into a fatal accident and no one knows who anyone in my contacts are because i save them as nicknames - i found a soultion to this one, i wrote in the "company" space in the contact their relation to me, eg: friend, classmate, former classmate, mum's friend, tutor... i have atleast 120 contacts on my phone lol - but they also just manifest into a really gory display in my mind or the scene unfolding. more often than not, these scenes become centered around my friends and family too.
when my sister was born, or i think a few weeks later, i hated her. the way she looked, the way she felt, the fact the doctors had to cut open my mum like an autopsy (she is alive and well, that's just how i imagined it) it made my skin crawl. i sat on the opposite end of the bed, where she was sleeping. she couldnt have been bigger than maybe my forearm?
and then the thoughts came.
i thought about the off chance the photo frame bigger than my torso above her became unlodged, smashing down into her skull and shattering her jaw, her panicked scream turned gargle as her mouth filled with blood, or if it landed on her head, and the brains splattered out, how she would jolt at the impact but then lay still, and there wouldn't be a sound so i would be the only one to know she was dead until my parents walked in, or if i was the one to grab maybe the iron from the ironing board and bring it smashing down onto her fragile little ribcage, hearing the cracks and the glass shattering screams as she woke up from the hard metal snapping her newly formed bones, how long it would take for her to die, how long until she stopped crying, stopped breathing-
i think my parents found me crying on the bed, quietly so i wouldn't wake her up.
- Piko
CW: graphic description of injury
when i was younger, i used to ask a lot of questions. it annoyed my parents immensely, especially when they couldnt answer my questions too. theres some kind of caution that you need with asking questions too, something about being sensitive to the other person? i dont know, i didnt get it when i asked.
i remember i was in the passenger seat with my dad, and i was learning about the ethics of ai in computer science fields or something like that, and i asked him that question that they used with ai drivers: if there was someone on the road would you swerve to miss them, risking the passenger's life but not the person on the road's, or would you crash into them, risking their life but not your passenger's. he told me to shut up essentially. maybe he was worried i would jinx him or something, i still dont get it.
i always had questions relating to death. i remember i asked my dad (he was always the one i asked, i dont know why, maybe my mum never gave me good answers) what he thought about euthanasia, and he said he had no right to answer that question because he had never had to make the decision himself. i wonder if he would be willing to answer it now. id probably be shouted at for asking.
occasionally ill have thoughts, morbid thoughts, about the what ifs of a situation: what if a serial killer was living in our attic and came down in the night and slit my throat, what if one of my parents had a heart attack and no one was around to call for medical attention, what if i get into a fatal accident and no one knows who anyone in my contacts are because i save them as nicknames - i found a soultion to this one, i wrote in the "company" space in the contact their relation to me, eg: friend, classmate, former classmate, mum's friend, tutor... i have atleast 120 contacts on my phone lol - but they also just manifest into a really gory display in my mind or the scene unfolding. more often than not, these scenes become centered around my friends and family too.
when my sister was born, or i think a few weeks later, i hated her. the way she looked, the way she felt, the fact the doctors had to cut open my mum like an autopsy (she is alive and well, that's just how i imagined it) it made my skin crawl. i sat on the opposite end of the bed, where she was sleeping. she couldnt have been bigger than maybe my forearm?
and then the thoughts came.
i thought about the off chance the photo frame bigger than my torso above her became unlodged, smashing down into her skull and shattering her jaw, her panicked scream turned gargle as her mouth filled with blood, or if it landed on her head, and the brains splattered out, how she would jolt at the impact but then lay still, and there wouldn't be a sound so i would be the only one to know she was dead until my parents walked in, or if i was the one to grab maybe the iron from the ironing board and bring it smashing down onto her fragile little ribcage, hearing the cracks and the glass shattering screams as she woke up from the hard metal snapping her newly formed bones, how long it would take for her to die, how long until she stopped crying, stopped breathing-
i think my parents found me crying on the bed, quietly so i wouldn't wake her up.
- Piko
13 - 04 - 2026
schools started again, and the boiler's broken at home. wont get fixed until this thursday, and it broke last monday. we've been taking showers with a bucket and mug. its not the worst thing: i always do this when i visit my grandparents anyway. they dont live in the uk.
ive been washing my hair by going to the sports centre and swimming, then washing in the shower cubicles. its fun i guess, but i fucking hate the water. i always imagine whose syphilis im gonna catch, or those weird videos where someone got pregnant because another guy jacked off into the water. makes me wanna throw up. atleast i dont have greasy hair.
- Piko
schools started again, and the boiler's broken at home. wont get fixed until this thursday, and it broke last monday. we've been taking showers with a bucket and mug. its not the worst thing: i always do this when i visit my grandparents anyway. they dont live in the uk.
ive been washing my hair by going to the sports centre and swimming, then washing in the shower cubicles. its fun i guess, but i fucking hate the water. i always imagine whose syphilis im gonna catch, or those weird videos where someone got pregnant because another guy jacked off into the water. makes me wanna throw up. atleast i dont have greasy hair.
- Piko
14 - 04 - 2026
its happening again. im so tired. im too exhausted to pay attention in class, or listen to whatever my friends are talking about. my head feels fuzzy, like someone put fluffy earmuffs on my brain and some hairs got into the blood vessels and are clogging up the stream like a furball. i feel so despairing. like im never close enough to being happy. my smile fades too soon, my hair never behaves, my limbs feel like appendages sewn onto my skin haphazardly by a victorian mum trying to make a toy for the child she had out of wedlock. god knows what the fuck im even talking about anymore.
probably nothing is wrong with me. but i dont know. i just hope i dont die painfully if its serious.
- Piko
its happening again. im so tired. im too exhausted to pay attention in class, or listen to whatever my friends are talking about. my head feels fuzzy, like someone put fluffy earmuffs on my brain and some hairs got into the blood vessels and are clogging up the stream like a furball. i feel so despairing. like im never close enough to being happy. my smile fades too soon, my hair never behaves, my limbs feel like appendages sewn onto my skin haphazardly by a victorian mum trying to make a toy for the child she had out of wedlock. god knows what the fuck im even talking about anymore.
probably nothing is wrong with me. but i dont know. i just hope i dont die painfully if its serious.
- Piko
27 - 04 - 2026
i fucked up something big today, and my mum wont let it go. i dont even know why she keeps hammering on about how shes disappointed in me and she wishes she had never given me the responsibility of doing it myself and she had just done it herself like i dont feel guilty about it already, i honestly dont know what she wants from me anymore. what does she expect? maybe i should just kill myself so she can finally see i regret doing it because nothing else i do seems to stop her.
i think i came the closest i ever have to actually killing myself over the weekend. it just kept replaying in my head how badly i failed doing everything she trusted me with.i wanted nothing more than to just claw my arms open, to grab a knife and slit my arm down lengthwise and tear it inside out, to bite down so hard i reach bone. even now my arms feel all tingly, luring me to do so. luckily im smart enough to not do that in summer.
ive been blasting my music on higher and higher volume, its brought me close to tears because its so fucking loud and i hate the loud but i cant do anything when its silent, because then theres room for me to start thinking. so what if i also cant function when its too loud, at least its not my wrists facing the wrath of my guilt. does this sound like self harm? i dont think it is. self harm means hurting myself and the only thing getting hurt is my eardrums i guess but some people do that by accident anyway so it cant be that bad right? its such a stupid thing to be upset about too. ive thought about it and im sure ive been doing enough stuff for me to cope if i fail at this one thing but then i turn off the music and my mum calls me on my phone and all of a sudden i want nothing more than to just jump in front of a train and end it all.
- Piko
actually fuck this, im pissed off now, who the fuck do they think they are, telling me im not talking to them and i have trouble talking to people and i shouldnt blame anything on my "adhd" bitch i dont have adhd, im just this stupid, and if you really think im blaming it on that then maybe you dont know your child as well as you thought. next time one of them tries to tell me about how im "a guest instead of family" in this house im gonna ask why the only times they talk to me it ends in me crying and let them figure out my silence for themselves.
- Piko
i fucked up something big today, and my mum wont let it go. i dont even know why she keeps hammering on about how shes disappointed in me and she wishes she had never given me the responsibility of doing it myself and she had just done it herself like i dont feel guilty about it already, i honestly dont know what she wants from me anymore. what does she expect? maybe i should just kill myself so she can finally see i regret doing it because nothing else i do seems to stop her.
i think i came the closest i ever have to actually killing myself over the weekend. it just kept replaying in my head how badly i failed doing everything she trusted me with.i wanted nothing more than to just claw my arms open, to grab a knife and slit my arm down lengthwise and tear it inside out, to bite down so hard i reach bone. even now my arms feel all tingly, luring me to do so. luckily im smart enough to not do that in summer.
ive been blasting my music on higher and higher volume, its brought me close to tears because its so fucking loud and i hate the loud but i cant do anything when its silent, because then theres room for me to start thinking. so what if i also cant function when its too loud, at least its not my wrists facing the wrath of my guilt. does this sound like self harm? i dont think it is. self harm means hurting myself and the only thing getting hurt is my eardrums i guess but some people do that by accident anyway so it cant be that bad right? its such a stupid thing to be upset about too. ive thought about it and im sure ive been doing enough stuff for me to cope if i fail at this one thing but then i turn off the music and my mum calls me on my phone and all of a sudden i want nothing more than to just jump in front of a train and end it all.
- Piko
actually fuck this, im pissed off now, who the fuck do they think they are, telling me im not talking to them and i have trouble talking to people and i shouldnt blame anything on my "adhd" bitch i dont have adhd, im just this stupid, and if you really think im blaming it on that then maybe you dont know your child as well as you thought. next time one of them tries to tell me about how im "a guest instead of family" in this house im gonna ask why the only times they talk to me it ends in me crying and let them figure out my silence for themselves.
- Piko
29 - 04 - 2026
"its like every day you disappoint me more."
i get it, i fucking get it okay? i know ive been doing nothing but fucking up over and over and over again for the last month or so, you dont need to rub it in my face, sending your stupid fucking whatsapp voice messages to all your friends about how you're done trying to help me, how im so lazy and unmotivated and would never make it in the real world, telling me to my face how it would be better if i just took a gap year instead of applying to uni so that the world doesnt let another fucking idiot into the workplace just yet. i get it.
and you wonder why i never want to talk to you anymore.
- Piko
i really dont want to do this any longer.
- Piko
i think i said in an earlier entry that i wastoo much of a pussy too scared of pain to try and kill myself. i dont think thats applicable to me anymore.
- Piko
"its like every day you disappoint me more."
i get it, i fucking get it okay? i know ive been doing nothing but fucking up over and over and over again for the last month or so, you dont need to rub it in my face, sending your stupid fucking whatsapp voice messages to all your friends about how you're done trying to help me, how im so lazy and unmotivated and would never make it in the real world, telling me to my face how it would be better if i just took a gap year instead of applying to uni so that the world doesnt let another fucking idiot into the workplace just yet. i get it.
and you wonder why i never want to talk to you anymore.
- Piko
i really dont want to do this any longer.
- Piko
i think i said in an earlier entry that i was
- Piko
04 - 05 - 2026
TW: sexual content
im revolted by the thought of sex, most days. its sticky, its yucky, you get all sweaty and you get cum and slick everywhere and its a hassle to clean up and all those STIs exist, it really seems to outweigh the pros by a mile. and yet, its still only most days i think like this. i have some days that make me wonder if maybe i just need to have sex to get it. that maybe when i turn 18 i just need to go to a club, get drunk and/or drugged by a random stranger and fucked into next week. then ill get it. this probably means i have no form of self-worth, to be thinking that. oh well.
- Piko
TW: sexual content
im revolted by the thought of sex, most days. its sticky, its yucky, you get all sweaty and you get cum and slick everywhere and its a hassle to clean up and all those STIs exist, it really seems to outweigh the pros by a mile. and yet, its still only most days i think like this. i have some days that make me wonder if maybe i just need to have sex to get it. that maybe when i turn 18 i just need to go to a club, get drunk and/or drugged by a random stranger and fucked into next week. then ill get it. this probably means i have no form of self-worth, to be thinking that. oh well.
- Piko
08 - 05 - 2026
fuck reform. FUCK REFORM. I HATE EVERYONE AND I HATE ANYONE WHO VOTED FOR THAT FUCKING SHITHOLE OF A PARTY. OH I BET YOURE ALL SO DAMN HAPPY THE DISGUSTING TAINTED IMMIGRANTS ARE FINALLY GOING BACK TO WHERE THEY BELONG ARENT YOU. REAL FUCKING GLAD THE PEOPLE BARELY SURVIVING WORKING PART TIME STOCKING THE SHELVES OF THE TESCO DOWN THE STREET OR SERVING YOU AT THE MCDONALDS ARE GOING AWAY AT LAST AND CANT INFECT YOU WITH THEIR FILTHY HANDS. THANK FUCK THE DOCTORS, LAWYERS, AND LAW ENFORCEMENT WORKING HARD SERVING THIS SHITHOLE OF A COUNTRY THAT DOESNT DESERVE THEM ARE GOING TO FINALLY GO BACK TO WHERE THEIR DISGUSTING BLOODLINE CAME FROM. REAL FUCKING GLAD.
YOURE ALL GONNA BE DOWN AT THE PUB HAVING A BEER AND A SMOKE WITH THE LADS CHEERING ON THIS RANCID LUMP OF A HUMAN FROM THE BAR, CLINKING YOUR JUGS WHILE OTHERS ARE GOING TO BE KICKED OUT FOR WHAT? THE COLOUR OF THEIR SKIN? DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF YOU HORRIFYING EXCUSES OF HUMAN BEINGS.
I might be the type of person least affected by this, because i have a british passport, but i know sure as fuck im gonna get called out on the street. i can feel it. if its happened before when reform wasnt winning i might as just let god take me instead so i dont get my neck snapped by a self entitled bigot instead.
if what you wanted was a country broken and divided, to the point people fear to walk the streets, congratulations. give it a week and youll get your prize.
- Piko
fuck reform. FUCK REFORM. I HATE EVERYONE AND I HATE ANYONE WHO VOTED FOR THAT FUCKING SHITHOLE OF A PARTY. OH I BET YOURE ALL SO DAMN HAPPY THE DISGUSTING TAINTED IMMIGRANTS ARE FINALLY GOING BACK TO WHERE THEY BELONG ARENT YOU. REAL FUCKING GLAD THE PEOPLE BARELY SURVIVING WORKING PART TIME STOCKING THE SHELVES OF THE TESCO DOWN THE STREET OR SERVING YOU AT THE MCDONALDS ARE GOING AWAY AT LAST AND CANT INFECT YOU WITH THEIR FILTHY HANDS. THANK FUCK THE DOCTORS, LAWYERS, AND LAW ENFORCEMENT WORKING HARD SERVING THIS SHITHOLE OF A COUNTRY THAT DOESNT DESERVE THEM ARE GOING TO FINALLY GO BACK TO WHERE THEIR DISGUSTING BLOODLINE CAME FROM. REAL FUCKING GLAD.
YOURE ALL GONNA BE DOWN AT THE PUB HAVING A BEER AND A SMOKE WITH THE LADS CHEERING ON THIS RANCID LUMP OF A HUMAN FROM THE BAR, CLINKING YOUR JUGS WHILE OTHERS ARE GOING TO BE KICKED OUT FOR WHAT? THE COLOUR OF THEIR SKIN? DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF YOU HORRIFYING EXCUSES OF HUMAN BEINGS.
I might be the type of person least affected by this, because i have a british passport, but i know sure as fuck im gonna get called out on the street. i can feel it. if its happened before when reform wasnt winning i might as just let god take me instead so i dont get my neck snapped by a self entitled bigot instead.
if what you wanted was a country broken and divided, to the point people fear to walk the streets, congratulations. give it a week and youll get your prize.
- Piko
14 - 05 - 2026
im going insane, oh my god im going insane. im fucking losing it. my dad tells me to throw out my hair from the bathroom, i go do that, about 20 minutes later he comes to me and asks whether i did it. i say yeah i did, then he goes oh really? look in the bin then, and i look in the bin and see the hair in a tissue, which wasnt the way i threw it away and he says you didnt throw it away, i did. i get so confused because sure i forget things but i remember doing this, i remember throwing it away, so i say no i did. he goes am i stupid to be lying about this? you didnt do it. i want to argue more but the evidence is right there, in the bin. i must have not thrown it away, despite my clear memory of the hair in my hand, me throwing it in the bin and realising its empty and thinking about how my mum must have cleared it earlier, and then me tossing it in. i made it up.
im making up memories now. how the fuck do i get out of this loop?
- Piko
im going insane, oh my god im going insane. im fucking losing it. my dad tells me to throw out my hair from the bathroom, i go do that, about 20 minutes later he comes to me and asks whether i did it. i say yeah i did, then he goes oh really? look in the bin then, and i look in the bin and see the hair in a tissue, which wasnt the way i threw it away and he says you didnt throw it away, i did. i get so confused because sure i forget things but i remember doing this, i remember throwing it away, so i say no i did. he goes am i stupid to be lying about this? you didnt do it. i want to argue more but the evidence is right there, in the bin. i must have not thrown it away, despite my clear memory of the hair in my hand, me throwing it in the bin and realising its empty and thinking about how my mum must have cleared it earlier, and then me tossing it in. i made it up.
im making up memories now. how the fuck do i get out of this loop?
- Piko